After Pregnancy

Jealousy Problems With The New Baby

You have been waiting for a very long time to have your new baby at home with the family; however, you may not have anticipated the jealousy that you are now seeing in your other children and even in your husband. Where does this jealousy stem from? Whether you realize it or not, mom's are the one that normally pours on the attention to the children and of course her partner, now you have brought another baby into the home to take your attention away from them, or this is how they may see it.

The very first thing you should do when you see that your children are becoming overly jealous of the new baby is to sit them down and talk with them about how they feel. Do not do this while holding the baby! The baby should be in asleep in another room, so your children know they have your undivided attention. Let them know just how much you love them and that together you can work out a schedule where you will also be able to spend time with them.

Suggestions and things to do:

• Let them help with the baby, your other children will be very glad to be included. You can allow them to help in many different ways that will help them become the big brother or big sister. According to the age of the other children you can have them do many different things such as get diapers, watch the baby in the swing while you run into the kitchen, hold the bottle, pick out the outfit for the day, or other small tasks.
• While baby is napping, give them your attention- totally. Play a game, watch their favorite movie, let them help you prepare a snack, etc…
• Whether you believe it or not, you can give them a dime or a quarter to show that you are giving them a bit more responsibility for helping around the house. Explain that with the new baby that you need more help and you are willing to give them an allowance for keeping their toys picked up. You cannot however, wait until the end of the week to give small children an allowance. Give them a small amount of money each and every day for helping.

Now, we go on to your partner. He may also be feeling quite jealous of the new baby, or you may be the one feeling jealous if he comes home from work and runs over to the baby before even giving you a hug. A new baby is exciting and both parents wish to be included and be there for every second to see what the baby may be doing. However, you must also remember you are a couple and you both need that special love and attention that only your partner can provide.